When I was creating the branding and the website design for Sisterhood, I was on a high of excitement as I was really creating from my soul. I was loving every minute of it and couldn’t stop ‘working’. I worked days and nights without stopping because I just didn’t want to, I had too much fun.
When it was almost finished I was feeling proud and went fishing for compliments and affirmation. This is an old habit that still comes up now and then, it is a form of self-sabotage which means I generally go fishing in the wrong pond. So instead of going to one of my Sisters for their opinion, I showed my husband the website and asked him what he thought while in all my excitement believing he would love it as much as I did and...he didn’t. Which I could have known as boho is definitely not his thing and obviously he is totally entitled to his honest and unadjusted opinion, especially as I asked for it.
He said ‘hmmm it is very hippie’ with a disapproving facial expression and tone of voice. Immediately I felt all the excited energy drain out of me and make place for a feeling of shame. Familiar voices started in my head ‘I need to turn it down, hide the hippie part’ ‘make it more mainstream’ ‘It is too much’ ‘THEY won’t like it, think that it is too weird, too out there’. (we will look closely at THEY in our 6 month online RISE & SHINE coaching journey, next one starting in March 2019 see info here https://www.sisterhoodcoaching.com , as who are THEY??).
This feeling took over and soon I could not see the beauty of my branding anymore, in an instant I had lost my excitement, my passion and my love of creation that was fuelling me with creative energy just moments before. As I watched part of myself wanting to give up, like I have done so many times in my life before as turning it down just does not excite me, there is no passion, no energy in that, another part stayed conscious and said No! remember, no more playing small, no more turning it down and hiding! This is exactly what the RISE & SHINE 6 month coaching journey is about; about showing up, authentically, about shining your light brightly, without turning it down or adjusting it. So I am not turning it down. I will show up exactly as I am and I will not making excuses for who I am and what I love.
Am I a hippie? Maybe, if loving freedom, peace and happiness, connectedness , traveling, nature and all things boho puts me in that box. But then again, I also love luxury, beautiful things and glamorous places, exquisite culinary food. My days of roughing it are pretty much done, I like glamping, not camping. So if I had to put myself in a box, I would create my own box (and decorate it with hearts and flowers!) and label it glippie, glamourous hippie, and leave it wide open for all to see. As I choose to shine brightly, with hearts and sparkles and a touch of magic and if that is too much for you, well I guess you will just have to look the other way!
Much love, San